I grew up in a country where child abuse can be encountered almost everywhere. I’ve been abused by my parents, by some of my teachers and coaches, there’s no question about it. I grew up in a country where this winter, 10 days after the televisions broadcast images with the president hitting a child, the president got reelected (see video bellow).

I think I pretty much felt the abuse and I realize now that I took all the actions I could to limit the effects and I tried to isolate myself as much as I could from people with violent behavior from both points of view, physical and psychological/emotional. Starting with 13 years old I got lucky because I grew up 24 cm in one year, which got me to 194 cm (6′ 4″). Suddenly things changed, the physical abuse vanished and the psychological one diminished and changed up to a point that it became hilarious and easy for me to defeat.

Spanking can easily escalate into a 3 hours beating. Spanked children are usually too confused to learn any lesson, other than they should obey the spanker, as the spanker is more powerful and dangerous. This is terror, not education. Hate, not love. Stupidity, not wisdom. And when the spankers are the ones that should provide you with care, food and education, it becomes tragic.

Now, here is a test the parents may want to have in mind when raising children. When the child will leave home (at 20… 25 years old?), the parents can ask their child to take the following test: ACE Score Calculator. If the child scores 1 or more, they failed as parents. The bigger the score, the bigger failure they are.
This doesn’t mean that we don’t have to have children. No kids means a higher personal success and probably a more enjoyable life, however, it means a failure of our genes, which may be very important, for reasons that I will not discuss here (hint - the movie Idiocracy (2006)).

Think to your childhood for a second. Were you spanked? Did you like it? Do you think violence taught you anything else but violence? Do you think you were such a fool that you couldn’t “learn” in any other way?

Now, moving to my adoptive country… I was surprised to read the comments from the To spank or not to spank? article. The comments can be rated and to my surprise, pro children spanking/beating comments have a 5:1 ratio of positive votes to negative votes, while the rating of the anti spanking comments is the other way around. This says a lot about the state-sponsored propaganda and the brainwashing levels our society reached. I will post at the end of the article some of the comments and their current ratings.

If you don’t have kids yet, or you have and so far you didn’t choose the easy way for yourself, here is a good website one can learn from: Project NoSpank

I hate to sound moralistic, but I can’t help myself after I read those comments and since I understood that child abuse is a very important issue for each of us to fight against.

Now, let me finish in a more optimistic and enjoyable light, by posting a video on what Russell Peters (an amazing Canadian stand-up comic) thinks about beating the kids:


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Comments from “To spank or not to spank?“:

I think that spanking is wrong, period. I’ve been spanked, and it’s horrible. Nobody should ever be allowed to spank their children. Try talking problems out.
Pro 14 - Anti 30

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I have noticed that since it became popular to read follow parenting books (mostly written by people that have no children) that we seem to be raising a generation of entitled and lazy children that have little or no respect for their parents or the guidelines for society. The idea that you are supposed to negotiate with a 2 year old or that the advice given by these parenting guides would lead to a generation of achievers is beyond comprehension. Parents have opted to be their childrens friend because it ie easier than being a parent. Your children need parenting - thay have lots of friends and it ain’t you mommy and daddy. Your job is to prepare your chiuldren for life and life required discipline, effort and actual comprehension of what is taught in school as opposed to passing to the next grade because you are one year older now.
Start being parents, teach you children about life and prepare them - too many of them have a carrear plan that is simply to sponge off of you until you die and inherit the means to continue a life of self indulgence and sloth.
Pro 40 - Anti 7

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Spanking is physical violence, not matter how advocates of this practice would like to couch it. Although hitting your child may teach him or her to avoid touching that hot burner, it also teaches your child other undesirable lessons. The messages it sends: 1. might is right 2. violence is acceptable. These are dangerous messages to teach our children.

With the research now emerging about the adverse affects of spanking, why even take a chance that it may emotionally damage with your child? Just because it is something that our parents use to do doesn’t mean its a practice we should continue. If my Grandma smoked heavily and lived to 90, does it prove that smoking is healthy? No. The same thing goes for spanking. Just because some children who were spanked grow up okay doesn’t mean it’s healthy either. It wasn’t too long ago that we couldn’t prove that smoking caused cancer.
Pro 14 - Anti 23

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It is really sad thet some people think that spanking or other physical punishment is the only way to teach children. There is copious research that shows that spanking and physical discipline is ineffective. It is not a coincidence that spanking is inversely correlated with higher education levels.

It is laughable when people say they can tell which children aren’t spanked because they misbehave or hurt other kids. None of my kids have ever hit, bitten, or pulled another kid’s hair. In fact, I have never seen a kid hurt another kid at the park, library, playdates, school, etc. The very idea is disturbing. Where are the children picking up this behaviour?

Where are all these spankers coming from anyways? Is it regional. I wasn’t spanked growing up; neither were my friends. Now that I am a parent, I don’t know any other parent that spanks either.

For the people that have asked what to do in certain situations besides spanking, Kids Are Worth It by Barbara Coloroso and Dr. Sears’ The DIscipline Book are great reads.
Pro 18 - Anti 35

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I have never spanked my daughter and I never will.
A parent that strikes their child is a parent that has lost control of the situation. A parent who is in control of the situation can discipline effectively without the use of force. It’s the harder road to take, for sure, but the harder road always yields better results than the easier one. In any situation.

There’s a life lesson for ya folks.
Pro 17 - Anti 43

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I have a 5 year old son. I have used corporal punishment in a handful of cases mostly around the 2.5 to 3.5 year range. I tended to limit the use for cases where he had placed himself in danger and a strong message had to be conveyed so that he understood the case to be a uniquely bad scenario. For example, a 3 year old who reaches for the stove. A long drawn out talk about how dangerous the stove is does not really register with a 3 year old, where as a single slap to the bum seems to communicate somewhat effectively that the situation needs to be learned from. The spanking does not need to be hard or be painful. My son has never reached for the stove in a dangerous manner again. Now that he is 5, I can take the time to explain rather than a spank, he now fully understands verbal communication and the messages he needs to understand.

I support a spank when kids put themselves or others in danger.

The last time I spanked my son I had caught him climbing a handrail on the fourth floor at a mall here in Jakarta. Had he made it over, it would have been death for sure. In absolute panic, I sprinted and yanked him from the rail and I had spanked him to the absolute horror of onlookers. (Indonesia is a society where corporal punishment is NOT used, and children are RARELY corrected on any matter - to the extent that VERY FEW have discipline even as adults. All you need to bear witness to this is to be in traffic in Jakarta - a city of 18 million self centered undisciplined drivers. Other societal problems such as rampant corruption could certainly be traced to improper discipline)
Effective discipline for children (corporal or not) is critical in creating a respectful functioning productive society.
Pro 43 - Anti 7

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The government does such a spectacular job of regulating everything else, why not parenting?

It takes a village to raise an idiot.
Pro 34 - Anti 4

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To say corporal punishment is never justified is as stupid as boasting you do it is criminal.
Pro 22 - Anti 4

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I think it’s a absolute no-brainer that kids should get a spanking to set them straight .
I spanked my daughter with a wooden spoon until she was 16 and she turned out just fine , good job , no criminal record and she has respect for people .

When kids today mouth off to their parents , I feel sorry for them , it must be awful to listen to that abuse fron their own flesh and blood . These brats nowadays need disipline and that’s that .

I think parents should have final say on how they choose to raise their children.. the law should butt out and mind their own business .
There wouldn’t be so many damn juvenile deliquents around , killing innocent people , stealing cars etc.
Pro 34 - Anti 19

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I am shocked at some of these posts: “I pulled down my child’s pants in the middle of Superstore and they got it right then and there but then I gave them a hug and it was okay.”

Are you kidding me?

No wonder our society is such a mess. I have never seen that and if I ever did, a social worker would def. be involved.

Oh and please do us a favor - stop procreating. Seriously!
Pro 18 - Anti 34

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I’m the mother of a two-year-old, and while I used to be absolutely opposed to corporal punishment, I realize now that there are some situations in which it is absolutely necessary and properly corrective. I love my son so much, and he listens most of the time, but on the occasions he doesn’t and the situation is serious, he’s got to understand, and quickly. Life can be at stake. Let’s get a bit of perspective. Going to either extreme is not good, but preserving the right of parents to correct their children when necessary is important.
Pro 66 - Anti 3

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I agree with corporal punishment for children that misbehave….especially teenagers!!!
I am disgusted when I walk around the mall and hear these little brat teenagers with a sense of entitlement tell their parents “f off and buy me this top mom!”
If i tried that crap with my parents I would have got a smack upside the head and look how I turned out…..good job, never comitted a crime, and a normal human being.
Pro 43 - Anti 11

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Any kind of punishment that causes physical pain is medieval and is probably the reason there is so much murder and violence in the world. Especially to children. Monkey see monkey do.
Pro 11 - Anti 40

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I would like to ask the perfect parents out there, how you reason with with an 18 month year old who trys to put something into the one and only electric socket you failed to put a cover on. Or what happens when that perfectly delightful three year old throws himself in the aisle, kicking and screaming wanting that sugar coated cereal and no amount of “gentle reasoning” will get him to stop. Or that sweet little two year old who bites the neighbours child to point of bleeding. When enduring words simply don’t work an occasional small smack on the bottom gets their attention, they associdate the smack with the action and it won’t leave a life long scar. Certainly I don’t advocate beating the crap out of your child or using any form of device, such as a belt or brush, however, I too am on the belief, spare the rod spoil the child.

It’s ok. Go ahead and give me 1000 thumbs down. I have big shoulders and the dozen spankings I received as a kid didn’t put me in therap
Pro 90 - Anti 12

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Years ago kids who misbehaved in class got the strap. Nowadays kids who misbehave in class get mind-altering drugs like Ritalin. Which does more harm to a child?
Pro 106 - Anti 7

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Children very quickly learn what they see. If they see their parents hitting children, they will learn this behaviour and copy it. Beating children is a gift that keeps on giving, but a very suspect gift.
Pro 28 - Anti 83

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Hitting is not discipline. Even this article’s review of research only comes up with one researcher who is a nay sayer to the many studies on the risks & harm of hitting.

Well then lets put it this way: where is the research that hitting is good for children?

In fact, where is the evidence that hitting is SO good for children that the state should actually make exceptions for young children to the same law that protects everyone else in their families and community against being assaulted?

Since there is no research evidence that hitting is good for children, and most is to the contrary, there is no reason that children shouldn’t have the same protection under the law against assault as everyone else.

It is not acceptable & against the law to hit people. A child is a person too.
Pro 30 - Anti 85

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Fact is corporal punishment is not an effective parenting tool and blurs the line of what is physical abuse and assault. Moreover, a spanking is less an instrument to deter or correct behaviour but is more the parent expressing their anger and frustration. How many parents actually spank when they are cool headed? None.

At what point would spanking become abuse? Is it a swat on the bum? Is it when there is red welts? I think police and the judiciary should be wise here otherwise it make a mockery of the law.

I don’t believe corporal punishment should be accepted in law as a parent’s right.
Outlawed? I believe the criminal code already covers assault, but given the relationship, bond and importance of parents in a child’s life perhaps they should have something else, parental education being one.
Pro 30 - Anti 78

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Let’s see here:

It is illegal for any person to hit any animal, as it should be.

It is illegal for any adult to hit any other adult, as it should be.

It is illegal for me to hit someone else’s child, as it should be.

It is illegal for someone else to hit my child, as it should be.

It is legal for me to hit my own child, the person whose very security and safety is dependent on me. Hit = swap = spank = swat. All are physical force and have an effect on the very core of another. There is nothing more precious than our own children.

There is something very wrong here and there is something very wrong that so many people believe it very right.
Pro 42 - Anti 104

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Children should have the right to not be hit. Spanking is lazy, ineffective parenting.
Pro 46 - Anti 121

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I look forward to the day when Canadians can associate violence with violence, that is, it’s not okay to hit your kids, its not okay for kids to hit anyone else either, it’s not okay to hit someone even if you’re playing a game, like hockey…
Pro 44 - Anti 102

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What about sending your child to their room (forceable confinement), taking away their toys (theft), or threatening them (blackmail)?

Virtually any punishment you can administer to a child would be a criminal act if you did it to an adult.

To even restrain a child from hurting himself would be considered a common assault.

Pro 216 - Anti 31